Lonely Friend

hmm .. a weird feeling, not happy not expected for the coming holidays as usual .. but just with a feeling like .. it look near but actually very far ... it look very far but actually very near ... still with something that unstable and insecurity ... hmm just belief the harder I work the lucky I am .. then am I lucky enough ? ... Where my lonely friend, he seem to be besides me but sometime seem like very far, the time I really need him, he seem not around, the time he is around it seem like I ignore him ... weird -_-"'